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Butter
Hahaha, ha d d d dumbasses.
All that time, we didn't understand what unique and magical as it was.
Ahhhh, I'm going to be sacrificed to the provider.
Butter's Get Well Song to Kyle

Cartman
Suck my balls!
Yes, and when I have you and your boyfriend's voices on my speak and record bar, then you'll never baby sit me again. Mostly.
Oh my gosh, it smells like ass out here
All right, right now I'm going to be totally serious with you, okay? If you call me piggy one more time, I'm going to leap out of this chair
and rip your goshdamn nuts off with my bare hands
Ma'am, we're havin a dude moment here, if you don't mind.
Snow igloos kick ass.
That bitch, I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts!
Stan's behavior is having an adverse affect on my education.
Ahh. I'm not a little kid anymore..ma. I'm eight years old. And if I want to fingerpaint then I'm gonna fingerpaint.
Cartman's Best Friend Song
Ha. Yeah right. You guys can kiss my black ass.
Whoever heard of a Squash-O-Lantern, Kenny? That's hella stupid.
Yes Eric. When you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.
Go put that pizza in the oven bitch. I'm hungry. Oww! All right terd, listen up. Now that your mom is gone, I'm in charge. I don't know how you treat your other babysitters, but when I'm babysitting, you're nothing but a little terd. You're a stinky, dried up, stupid terd. Got it? You can't hit me, didn't you see those nanny videos on T.V.?
Hey, you can't just hit a drum. You have to beat the sh*t out of it. Shut your pie hole or I'll kick your ass you drum.
Cartman screaming after his fake beard is ripped off
Kyle, why do you do these things to me?

Chef
Not like that son, like this. Daaaare.

Ike
Ike's Audition

Kyle
Cartman:Sexual Harrasment Panda is cool. Kyle: You would think that you little asssucker. Cartman: What did you call me? Kyle: An asssucker. It means you suck ass. You see an ass, you suck it. You're an asssucker. Cartman: That does it. I am sueing you for sexual harrasment.

Mr. Garrison
Vaginas, penises, buttsex.

Mr. Hankey
Here's a game I like to play. Stick me in your mouth and try to say, 'Howdy ho ho yum, yum, yum. Christmas time has come!'
And if you don't like it, well, I guess you can suck my tiny little balls
The Cycle of Poo

Mr. Mackey
Oh, yeah. That makes me hot, mckay.

Scott
Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy.

Shop Teacher
Hey, quick screwin around back there. You're horsing.

Terrance and Phillip
Terrance: Shiver me timbers Phillip! At this rate I'll never get to my Kraft Dinner.
Phillip: Oh Terrance, you've farted in court. Terrance: Yes Phillip. I'm making a case for our defense.
Terrance: Oh Phillip, now you've farted during the closing arguement. Phillip: I have, haven't I Terrance.
Terrance: Oh Phillip, you've saved me from the gas chamber. (Laughter)
(ring) Phillip: That fart sounded like a ringing phone Terrance. Terrance: It sure did Phillip. (ring) Oh, wait that is the phone.

Timmy
Tim-may!
Timmay! Stan:Right you're Timmy. Timmay! Nebelala
Butter: Haleluia! Timmy: Timmay!

Other
Awwww! He smacked me in the balls. Awww!
What to do if you're fonics monkey arrived dead in the box.